This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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