I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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