You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
