I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
