Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
