But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Randomize
