I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
