PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
