it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just want to make out with him forever
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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