So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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