We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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