I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
