Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
