This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
