It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
