Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
