are you so shy because you have an std?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
