WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just puked most of my soul out..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
