No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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