Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
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