I am spending my child support on dildos
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
