YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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