new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
