Buhtt sex?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
nutella sex= disaster
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
