I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize