I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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