so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
