His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Too much gin, very little bucket
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I still have a little drunk in my system
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
