I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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