Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
