Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
