just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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