i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
