yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize