Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
