He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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