Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
