Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
