oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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