I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
