you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
