Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Two words: nipple clamps
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