he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
