you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
