im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have fence marks all over my body
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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