she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
