HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
