the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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