guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
