I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
