the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this hospital has no fireball
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
