If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
