I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
