is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
