Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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