two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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