At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
