He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
