Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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