im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
