Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
