i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
