your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
