We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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