in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
